It is surprising how people fall in love in mysterious ways – especially in college. While it took me four months to locate the administration block, it only took a week – the first week of orientation – for my friend to find his girlfriend. Yes, it was that fast. And look, I may be sounding like a romantic retard but I prefer taking sometime to connect to people – I need to know what I’m dealing with in the first place and that means taking sometime more than just a week.
College is a place where people have a freedom to try a lot of things they wouldn’t do at home. Even the well raised Christian boys and girls can have the freedom of exercising certain pattern of behaviors – partying, dating, drinking and staying out late nights. College is where everyone literally become an adult.
College life has a lot of challenges, one of them being maintaining relationships. College relationships are hard – there are many relationship failures. Most of college relationship never last – especially after graduation. There are even lovers whose relationship doesn’t survive long enough to see the light of the next semester – people meet at the beginning of a semester and at the of a semester, they are no more.
Now, before I tell you of the reasons why college relationships fail, I mustfirst admit of having two relationship failures while at college. I am stillstruggling to comprehend the reasons why it happened – whether I was the onewith the problem or it was theirs.
Back to our topic, these are the most reasons to why college relationships –most of them, of course – never last long.
College men are boys and girls – are girls; adults with adolescent minds
One of the reasons why college relationships never last is when two adults with adolescent minds fall in love. College is an experimental period, people get lost into many life stuffs. Men just want to be boys – they want to have fun, they want to date every girl they come across – commitment is an alien term to them. And girls are arrogant slay queens who doesn’t even know your middle name, easily swayed by trivial things – fancy presents like smartphones, dinner offers – they don’t know what they look for in a man. So apparently it is just kids in love. It’s hard to have a successful relationship with someone with an adolescent mind.
Most relationships are hook ups; friends with benefits
Some relationships are not built on solid meaningful grounds – they are hookups (no real dates). When your room mate is having a girlfriend and that girlfriend has a friend, that means you could easily get connected to that friend of your roommate’s girlfriend and make it as boyfriend and girlfriend too. Now, tell me what you expect from these kinds of an affair. Sexual hookups are not guaranteed to last long.
It only involves two people
The affair only involves the lovers who just met at college – no parents or close relatives that are aware of the affair. Since the important part – I mean like parents and the community is not involved, it means lovers has not taken their affair on a serious level – they are still testing waters and there are chances one can decide to walk out of a relationship with or without reasons because he/she has nothing to lose – or doesn’t have to answer to parents correlatives who would ask for reasons of a breakup. Taking a relationship to parents and relatives means lovers are serious.
It is a facilitated affair
The fact that you are both students living campus life means there are no real responsibilities toward your relationship. Your affair is clouded by school activities – assignments, tests, discussions. It is easy for a partner to dodge into school excuses than working on improving your relationship – matters of your affair are on pending; you don’t even get to discuss the aftermath of your relationship after school is over. With student loan or parent’s money backing your pockets, you don’t happen to worry much about finance. So, you all think you can handle a relationship, but when school is over, there is too much responsibilities and neither of you have prepared for that.
College fellas are generally broke – well, with the exception of few guys from privileged families. The thing is, some people are quick to run when the affair gets into their narrow budget – to say “some people” I mean men. And some girls would blame a man for not giving them some money as if that guy is some Bill Gates or something. This where a relationship starts to shake and beckons the departure.
Jealousy and insecurity
Some affairs just end because of jealous. There are these immature, possessive lovers who wants to know every move of their partner – giving endless complaints based on assumptions and rumors. This type of behavior makes an innocent partner to pull away – it’s college life baby, no one wants to nurse an insecure partner – we just move on. Most of college lover are not matured enough to deal with deep emotional issue of an insecure partner, they simply run away.
Graduation is a killer of college relationships. After the school is over,lovers – who came from different regions and only met at college have to deal with distance relationship which is really hard these day. Suppose your girlfriend/boyfriend used to cheat on you while you’re together, what will they do now that you are far away from each other? These kinds of uncertainties can make one partner to decide to move on. After the school is over, a new chapter of life begins and if lovers were not prepared for this it means end of story of their affair.
I am not writing this to scare you from finding the love of your life at college – in fact there are many couples who started out from college. But if your relationship didn’t make it, it’s fine – things happens. Despite that you are now not together, you can be thankful for what the two of you have shared and the personal growth that has resulted from your affair.