We all have that animal characteristic of affection. We crave for human connection, we crave for love! As Aristotle once said, we are all social animal and that if there’s anyone who is so self-sufficient as not to need the presence of the other and does not partake to the society, that person might be a beast or a god.
So, we need each other for the sake of our very existence. I am not trying to turn this article into a philosophy lecture but what I’m trying to imply is that inside our left chests, there is a beating desire to be loved, a desire to have someone to call our own. But what happens when the one we expect to be our significant other is not into us or say, is already taken?
The polite NO
In our African ways of dating, I have come to realize that women have devised many polite ways of saying no. I cannot quite say why but I guess it is probably that women say polite rejections to protect the man’s fragile confidence or to protect themselves from being bullied by immature resentful men who get angry after being rejected. Or I simply don’t know. A woman would try to convince you that she could be with you had it not been the other relationship she is already in.
But being a man, I know that a rejection is just as that – a rejection! So whatever reasons she might have, it simply means she can’t be with you. Well, that stings isn’t?
Comfortable in the friendzone?
So, what happens when she puts you in a friendzone position? Are you really cool with that, I mean really? How do you manage to turn a blind eye on your true feelings and go straight to being just friends?
From my experience we agree to be friend zoned hoping that one day she might change her mind and love us back. And this is because we humans usually get blinded by our desires to the extent that we forget to ask ourselves the hard-realistic questions.
Agreeing to being friends with a girl you really love after she said no is like living in denial, you have to suppress your emotions of affection towards her and put on the friend mask. The question is, for how long are you going to live in denial of the truth that the odds are not on your side?
Your mental health matters
One sided expectations can mentally destroy you. A woman can friendzone you for a period long enough to finish a degree program and she could be changing relationships while you are there watching, playing the role of a good friend and she might be coming back for you for comfort when things are up to her neck.
My dear friend, unless you want that mental confusion, you need to take decisions on your favor, because waiting for her to change her mind seems like chasing the wind. And who knows, you might be missing out on potential partners out there while wasting time on a closed door.